The Socialist Republic of Crawlaysia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Premier Sparratus Spidorus with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The cynical, devout population of 13.141 billion Crawlaysians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Webica. The average income tax rate is 83.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crawlaysian economy, worth a remarkable 2,025 trillion Bit-Crens a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 154,132 Bit-Crens, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Dream holidays often go awry, harassed women are constantly hassled by guys who are "just giving them compliments", Webica has restaurants serving every meat from aardvark to zebra, and the nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crawlaysia's national animal is the Crawlaysian Spider, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Crawlaysia is ranked 16,113^th in the world and 4^th in Union of Free Nations for Most Corrupt Governments, with 116.44 kickbacks per hour.