The Armed Republic of Crassigyrinus is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, unlimited-speed roads, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working population of 4.681 billion Crassigyrinusians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 21.0%.

The Crassigyrinusian economy, worth 240 trillion Delta Eagles a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 51,387 Delta Eagles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

Pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit, the roads are notorious throughout the region for their peril, maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords, and murder rates are on the rise as the popularity of soylent products grows. Crime is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crassigyrinus's national animal is the Kitsune, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Crassigyrinus is ranked 114,095^th in the world and 1^st in Henderson for Most Cultured, scoring 65 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.