The Republic of Cooliestan is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by President with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 24.656 billion Cooliestanians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Public Transport, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Miami. The average income tax rate is 7.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cooliestanian economy, worth a remarkable 5,489 trillion Coolie Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an amazing 222,623 Coolie Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic, vaccinations are mandatory, drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth, and athletes are renowned for being the best at maths. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Cooliestan's national animal is the Scarlet Ibis, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cooliestan is ranked 278,141^st in the world and 8^th in Caribbean for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -5.93 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.