The Republic of Conservative Dixie is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Tom O'Brian with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, compulsory military service, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 8.338 billion Conservative Dixieans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Gatlinburg. The average income tax rate is 17.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Conservative Dixiean economy, worth 873 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 104,776 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Frequent fliers are obliged to submit to invasive security procedures by government security, scientific journals publish third-graders' school essays, hot dogs have been renamed lukewarm pigs, and bridge salesmen line up for blocks to make their cases at Tom O'Brian's office. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Conservative Dixie's national animal is the Bassett Hound, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Conservative Dixie is ranked 279,415^th in the world and 1^st in The New Moderate Alliance for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 36.69 on the Kitten Softness Rating.