The Colonial Kakistocracy of Colonial Holdings is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Slightly Above Average Colonial with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, complete lack of prisons, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 7.072 billion Colonials are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Colony. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.4%.

The powerhouse Colonial economy, worth 532 trillion Colonial Monies a year, is led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 75,298 Colonial Monies, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Street preachers spend more time condemning government bureaucracy than passers-by, music teachers are commonly seen busking in order to fund their music programs, midnight raids drag couples from their homes in the name of decency, and superfoods are often seen as supervillains. Crime is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Colonial Holdings's national animal is the Colonial Animal, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Indigenous-Old World Mesh.

Colonial Holdings is ranked 263,342^nd in the world and 5^th in Frontier Alpha for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -6.69 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.