The Colony of Coastwatcher is a mammoth, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The hard-working, democratic population of 8.835 billion Coastwatcherians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.4%.

The thriving Coastwatcherian economy, worth 509 trillion Juno aurums a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Automobile Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 57,623 Juno aurums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 203,967 per year while the poor average 11,753, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

Scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, hiding wrinkles with make-up is illegal, and surveillance cameras are banned. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Coastwatcher's national animal is the quick pink fox, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Coastwatcher is ranked 195,324^th in the world and 1^st in the Solomon Islands for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring zero on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.