The Selanese Republic of Cisselania is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by General Miroslav Çirnonosov with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, avant-garde cinema, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 7.196 billion Selanese are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Novwgord. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 69.2%.

The very strong Selanese economy, worth 348 trillion warbonds a year, is highly specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Automobile Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 48,408 warbonds, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's infamous boot camp is more brutal than most battlefields, the recently liberated free press cautiously uses compliment sandwiches to cushion its criticisms of General Miroslav Çirnonosov, pristine wilderness has been trashed in the quest for cheaper oil, and the arms industry is backed by government subsidies and harsh anti-protest laws are in place. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cisselania's national animal is the Hornislav cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Selanese Imperial Christianity.

Cisselania is ranked 329,177^th in the world and 22^nd in Union of Conlang Nations for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -16 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.