The Colony of Cheesestick Planet is a very large, orderly nation, renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 449 million Cheesestick Planetians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 16.2%.

The Cheesestick Planetian economy, worth 19.5 trillion Cheeses a year, is led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Pizza Delivery. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 43,372 Cheeses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Military spending recently hit a new high, organ donation is compulsory, politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental, and Cheesestick Planetians believe the only thing that will make you happy is being unhappy with who you are. Crime is moderate. Cheesestick Planet's national animal is the Rat.

Cheesestick Planet is ranked 70,885^th in the world and 22^nd in Goninan for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 3,915.15 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.