The Colony of Cheats is a huge, cultured nation, notable for its rum-swilling pirates, parental licensing program, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, devout population of 876 million Cheatsians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Spirituality, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 29.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Cheatsian economy, worth 46.3 trillion Diamonds a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 52,813 Diamonds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings", marine biology students are shocked to discover that a whale is a mammal, leisure is a crime in ski towns, and masterpieces by male artists are on display in the dumpsters behind the gallery. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Cheats's national animal is the Zombie.

Cheats is ranked 82,133^rd in the world and 1^st in IxCraft for Largest Black Market, with 4.06 trillion Standard Monetary Units.