The Republic of Celestial Kestrel is a massive, safe nation, notable for its burgeoning dove population. The hard-working population of 1.172 billion Celestial Kestrelians, 1.116 billion of whom are zombies, are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 28.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Celestial Kestrelian economy, worth 312 trillion rupees a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 41,992 rupees, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celestial Kestrel's national animal is the dove.

Celestial Kestrel is ranked 264,472^nd in the world and 677^th in Prison for Nudest, with 56.25 cheeks per square mile.