The Old California Colony of Castarda is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Holly La Zorra with an iron fist, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, triple-decker prams, and suspicion of poets. The cynical, devout population of 6.675 billion Castardans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Casthdrum. The average income tax rate is 61.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Castardan economy, worth 383 trillion Pisas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is 57,410 Pisas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting, turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint, male cubicle workers stand up every time a woman enters the room, and Castardans believe manners maketh the leader. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Castarda's national animal is the Shrimp, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Odinist.

Castarda is ranked 177,133^rd in the world and 45^th in The Dudlands for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 391.33 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.