The Republic of Carpentor is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its enslaved workforce, anti-smoking policies, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 6.481 billion Carpentorians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Environment and Education not funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Carpentorian economy, worth a remarkable 1,715 trillion currencies a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 264,666 currencies, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,621,445 per year while the poor average 18,961, a ratio of 85.5 to 1.

Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, the government's official position on invasive species is 'who cares?', orthopaedics patients often have a bounce in their step, and it is popularly believed that "cheese every day keeps disaster away". Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Carpentor's national animal is the animal, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Carpentor is ranked 109,255^th in the world and 37^th in Vickenian experiment incubator for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 1,822.04 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.