The Protectorate of Call-1 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, devout population of 28.452 billion Call-1ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.0%.

The thriving Call-1ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,671 trillion $$s a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 58,742 $$s, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Children keel over while singing "Leader Gives Us the Water of Life", every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains, auditors are gutting every governmental department, and people who tease dwarfs are being cut down to size. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Call-1's national animal is the Dolly Varden, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Call-1 is ranked 265,159^th in the world and 1^st in Callisto for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 26.62 on the Bus Surprisal Index.