The Oppressed Peoples of Calibarn is a large, orderly nation, notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, compulsory military service, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 140 million Goyims are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 49.6%.

The strong Calibarnian economy, worth 9.57 trillion marks a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 68,354 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Children who refuse to share their crayons are arrested, people can get away with murder these days, prison officers are bribed not to take bribes, and the military is researching proton packs and PK-meters to combat "unseen enemy forces". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calibarn's national animal is the lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Calibarn is ranked 291,345^th in the world and 814^th in Council of Asia for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 33.37 on the Kitten Softness Rating.