The Stimulated Nation of Caffeinated is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Random Joe with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 4.666 billion Caffeinatedians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City That Never Sleeps. The average income tax rate is 9.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Caffeinatedian economy, worth a remarkable 1,385 trillion Cappuccino Coinzes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 297,033 Cappuccino Coinzes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, breast milk lattes are the newest fad among hip urbanites, the "blue screen of death" forces many trials to be either aborted or restarted, and kids are told they can be whoever they want to be when they grow up. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Caffeinated's national animal is the Walking Coffee Plant, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is None but drinking decaf is a sin.

Caffeinated is ranked 36,452^nd in the world and 118^th in Europeia for Most Stationary, with 787.41316272192 days.