The Republic of Cabbage Cavern is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its infamous sell-swords, parental licensing program, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 2.325 billion Cabbage Cavernians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.7%.

The all-consuming Cabbage Cavernian economy, worth 217 trillion stardusts a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 93,452 stardusts, with the richest citizens earning 6.5 times as much as the poorest.

The question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression, corporations claim the third ounce of any metal traded in a wicker-cone on the Sunday of a full moon as a charitable expense, it isn't a secret plot without caviar and foie gras, and a widely accepted trade policy is "tit-for-tat". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cabbage Cavern's national animal is the moonlark, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Cabbage Cavern is ranked 90,882^nd in the world and 1^st in Cabbage Cavern for Highest Poor Incomes, with 33,940.56 Standard Monetary Units.