The Colony of Boardwalks is a mammoth, cultured nation, remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, public floggings, and frequent executions. The compassionate population of 7.816 billion Boardwalksians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 46.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Boardwalksian economy, worth 379 trillion Pesos a year, is led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 48,511 Pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Teenage male videogamers often suffer repetitive strain wrist injuries, the nation's new currency features full-length portraits of Leader in ermine and velvet garb, the military is researching proton packs and PK-meters to combat "unseen enemy forces", and losing your sock key may require surgical intervention. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Boardwalks's national animal is the Dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Boardwalks is ranked 94,937^th in the world and 9^th in Lightyears Away for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 2,857.63 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.