The Empire of Bistrostan is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory vegetarianism. The compassionate, cheerful population of 49.695 billion Bistrostanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social and economic equality; they tend to view other countries as corrupted by the hollow pageantry of sham elections.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bistrostan City. The average income tax rate is 97.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Bistrostanian economy, worth an astonishing 26,658 trillion drachmas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is a breathtaking 536,442 drachmas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Life is somewhat repetitive, disadvantaged neighbourhoods have become no-go areas after sundown, structures are raised on promises, and anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Bistrostan's national animal is the cheetah, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Bistrostan is ranked 108^th in the world and 1^st in The GameFAQs Forum for Most Cultured, scoring 851 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.