The Eltran's Obesity and Skills of Big Bad Blackwolf is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Blackwolf Morrow with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, compulsory military service, and complete lack of prisons. The cynical population of 7.524 billion Skill Issues are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Environment, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Brachycardian City. The average income tax rate is 71.3%.

The Obese economy, worth 318 trillion blue gemstones a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Gambling, and Tourism. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 42,352 blue gemstones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Streakers swamp all public events in order to bare it all, the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers, ticket touts are blamed for the downfall of communism, and the law says it's okay to sell a bomb to a terrorist so long as they promise not to detonate it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Big Bad Blackwolf's national animal is the black wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Defender Moralism.

Big Bad Blackwolf is ranked 187,187^th in the world and 5^th in LIA claimed lands for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 177.62 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.