The Commonwealth of Bearlong is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Alfie Richardson with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, punitive income tax rates, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cheerful population of 28.28 billion Bearians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stornoway. The average income tax rate is 97.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Bearian economy, worth a remarkable 3,567 trillion Bearas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 126,158 Bearas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Trespassers entering Alfie Richardson's office are immediately vaporized, press conferences always end with standing ovations and rapturous applause, all you have to do is pray to get into Bearlong, and treason is relative. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bearlong's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Bearlong is ranked 12,423^rd in the world and 13^th in The Confederacy of Free Nations for Lowest Crime Rates, with 97.25 law-abiding acts per hour.