The Commonwealth of Bartilla is a massive, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 1.003 billion Bartillans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stelzen. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 35.0%.

The strong Bartillan economy, worth 65.3 trillion marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Basket Weaving, and Soda Sales. Average income is 65,093 marks, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians can be condescending (which by the way means "showing an attitude of patronising superiority"), giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why Leader is a silly poophead, five-hundred-twenty-five-thousand-six-hundred revivals is how theatre-goers measure a year, and gossip magazines have pictures of Leader sunbathing on the beach with political rivals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Bartilla's national animal is the horse.

Bartilla is ranked 320,716^th in the world and 5^th in The Diamond Trifecta for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -10.76 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.