The Kind Kingdom of Baldonnes is a mammoth, orderly nation, notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 7.806 billion Baldonnesians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 55.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Baldonnesian economy, worth 193 trillion baht a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Gambling, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 24,812 baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas, citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens, boats straying just metres away from the shore will raise the ire of the Coast Guard, and overhead luggage compartments on planes sometimes conceal diminutive intelligence officers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Baldonnes's national animal is the panther.

Baldonnes is ranked 240,360^th in the world and 2^nd in The Zurg Region of Supreme Command for Nicest Citizens, with 10.55 average smiles per day.