The Pashshaxiypashshaxiq of Asturan is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Pashshaxiypashshax Simmon III with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, zero percent divorce rate, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, devout population of 19.328 billion Asturanese are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Orionova. The average income tax rate is 90.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Asturanese economy, worth a remarkable 2,222 trillion Trios a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 114,966 Trios, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Economic output is rising as the chronically depressed are persuaded not to burden society, the nation has nearly as many history museums as Asturanese, investigative reports into the government's latest violation of civilian rights are stored in the fiction aisle, and young girls aren't having a ball but they are enjoying themselves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Asturan's national animal is the Imperial Chimera, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Asturanese Polytheism.

Asturan is ranked 14,900^th in the world and 13^th in Anteria for Lowest Crime Rates, with 99.7 law-abiding acts per hour.