The United Federal Monarchy of Ashilion is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Prime Minister Kuferis Alasanov with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, keen interest in outer space, and frequent executions. The cynical, devout population of 6.172 billion Ashilians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kugefeg. The average income tax rate is 80.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ashiliian economy, worth 916 trillion Alcils a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 148,518 Alcils, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Nine-year-olds are discovering that they can grow gardens in real life too, octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it, sexually-starved male dinosaurs terrorise tourists during weekly breakouts from Mesozoic Park, and the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ashilion's national animal is the Ashilian Grey Doves, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Notafo and Sokrota.

Ashilion is ranked 205,596^th in the world and 2^nd in United Ashilian Group for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring zero on the Clooney Contribution Index.