The Most Serene Republic of Ascendas is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President of Ascendas with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 36.382 billion Ascendasians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Education, with Law & Order, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ascendas Capitol. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Ascendasian economy, worth a remarkable 7,634 trillion Ascendas Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 209,853 Ascendas Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.6 times as much as the poorest.

Meat is a luxury afforded only to the wealthy, retirement apartments house giggling grannies who delightedly watch blank TVs all day long, Ascendasian tourists are banned from many nations due to their tendency to randomly explode, and political candidates must be personally vetted by President of Ascendas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ascendas's national animal is the Bald Head Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Bald Eaglenism.

Ascendas is ranked 5,581^st in the world and 2^nd in Asia Pacific Economic Group for Lowest Crime Rates, with 113.82 law-abiding acts per hour.