The Holy Empire of Arumba is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emperor Johnny with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, triple-decker prams, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 27.118 billion Arumbas are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Polk City. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Arumban economy, worth an astonishing 12,702 trillion Arumban Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 468,407 Arumban Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation, third world countries are rich in "I Love Polk City" t-shirts, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Arumba's national animal is the Harmles Alligator, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Aztec.

Arumba is ranked 1,977^th in the world and 1^st in The Beach for Most Cultured, scoring 263 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.