The Funky Town of Arkmamium is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Reverend Sir Dr Stephen Colbert DFA with an even hand, and renowned for its digital currency, ubiquitous missile silos, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 38.142 billion Arkmamians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The minute government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Public Transport, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Carcassonne. The average income tax rate is 1.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Arkmamian economy, worth an astonishing 10,775 trillion coconuts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 282,511 coconuts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Huge explosions in the sky are a daily occurrence in the cities, it takes months to get the proper permits for a child's first tricycle, the state aims to prevent terrorism by committing acts of terror against suspected aggressors, and the nation is weighing the price of victory following a nuclear strike. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Arkmamium's national animal is the Jim Morrison, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is the Church of Arkmam.

Arkmamium is ranked 264,835^th in the world and 38^th in The Internationale for Most Primitive, scoring -211.27 on the Scary Big Number Scale.