The Free Land of Ardeetiana is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Zupremo Dictata with a fair hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 28.538 billion Ardeetianans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Boswellington. Income tax is unheard of.

The very strong Ardeetianan economy, worth a remarkable 4,864 trillion Moneroes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 170,454 Moneroes, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

Stranded astronauts hitch rides on foreign spacecraft to get home, the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression, parents giddily refuse to pay their toddlers' medical bills, and the nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Ardeetiana's national animal is the Birple, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Pastafarian.

Ardeetiana is ranked 288,659^th in the world and 13^th in Libertarian Alliance for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2.85 pounds of wildlife per square mile.