The National Park of Arches is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Edward Abbey with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 6.03 billion rangers enjoy frequent elections, which are uniformly corrupted by big-spending corporations buying politicians who best suit their interests.

The medium-sized, moralistic, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moab. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 20.9%.

The powerhouse delicate economy, worth 471 trillion sandstones a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 78,155 sandstones, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 532,443 per year while the poor average 4,173, a ratio of 127 to 1.

The bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Moab, snitches get riches, the "temporary replacement bus service" is now a permanent fixture, and elementary school children develop thousand-yard stares. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Arches's national animal is the western collared lizard, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Desert Solitaire.

Arches is ranked 131,441^st in the world and 6^th in Seinfeld for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 1,232.3 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.