The Eternal Misfortune of Aqualagoon is a colossal, efficient nation, renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.429 billion Aqualagoonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Welfare and Healthcare not funded at all. The average income tax rate is 6.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Aqualagoonian economy, worth 815 trillion Raindrops a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 150,303 Raindrops, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes, one does not simply walk into the tundra, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past, and the new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Aqualagoon's national animal is the Trout, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Aqualagoon is ranked 165,527^th in the world and 7,405^th in the South Pacific for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -15.36 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.