The Republic of Apple HQ is a massive, genial nation, remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 1.087 billion Apple HQians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Apple HQ. The average income tax rate is 43.7%.

The Apple HQian economy, worth 56.8 trillion Cards a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Soda Sales, Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 52,299 Cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Scavengers with burlap sacks and shovels skulk around graveyards, sick Apple HQians are hair today and gone tomorrow, baby dolls thrown in the trash are a leading cause of panic attacks, and calling dibs is an unalienable right. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Apple HQ's national animal is the Card, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Apple HQ is ranked 50,082^nd in the world and 6^th in Fish Storage for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,972.69 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.