The Republic of Alyssa Ashcroft is a massive, genial nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, strictly enforced bedtime, and soft-spoken computers. The compassionate population of 1.221 billion Alyssa Ashcroftians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, with Healthcare, Welfare, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 11.5%.

The sizeable but inefficient Alyssa Ashcroftian economy, worth 40.3 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Woodchip Exports, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 32,982 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

Blue bloods are welcome in Alyssa Ashcroft, park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers, the military's newest toy broadcasts Alyssa Ashcroft's anthem on hostile frequencies to drive enemies insane, and many friends and relatives of Leader have been given ambassador jobs in tropical island nations. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Alyssa Ashcroft's national animal is the cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Alyssa Ashcroft is ranked 65,911^th in the world and 16^th in The Fries for Most Secular, with 18.44 Atheism Rate.