The Fēdaracija of Alypha is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Aleksa Kraiskins with a fair hand, and renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, national health service, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.413 billion Alyphans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vulkānspils. The average income tax rate is 89.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alyphan economy, worth 467 trillion Pearls a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 136,811 Pearls, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Public buses smell like litter boxes, the tinfoil-hat crowd also recommend tinfoil wallets, fashion models are guaranteed to be 100% genuinely as anorexic as they appear on magazine covers, and several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alypha's national animal is the Slugcat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Radiance.

Alypha is ranked 2,354^th in the world and 2^nd in Federation Of Sovereign States for Least Corrupt Governments, with 96.15 percentage of bribes refused.