The Free Land of Altai Almas is a gargantuan, safe nation, notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 13.497 billion Altai Almasians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, socially-minded government is primarily concerned with Healthcare, although Spirituality, Education, and Defense are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Altaysk. The average income tax rate is 70.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Altai Almasian economy, worth 660 trillion Yerens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Furniture Restoration, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 48,910 Yerens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's Medal of Honour can be found as a free toy in breakfast cereal, a National Academy regulates grammar and usage, back-alley circumcision clinics are popping up all over the nation, and voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Altai Almas's national animal is the Gigantopithecus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Altai Almas is ranked 192,926^th in the world and 5^th in The Sasquatch Republic for Most Primitive, scoring -77.91 on the Scary Big Number Scale.