The State of AltaColumbia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, renowned for its anti-smoking policies, suspicion of poets, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 33.879 billion AltaColumbians are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny government prioritizes Law & Order, although Industry, Defense, and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.0%.

The powerhouse AltaColumbian economy, worth a remarkable 1,998 trillion betales a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is 58,999 betales, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

Police officers are seen patrolling the streets armed with satellite-guided truncheons, an underground movement of cigarette smokers has sprung up in response to a government ban, citizens are bombarded with advertising from their compulsory minature radios, and students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. Crime is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force. AltaColumbia's national animal is the deer.

AltaColumbia is ranked 173,835^th in the world and 148^th in 0000 for Lowest Crime Rates, with 58.97 law-abiding acts per hour.