The Republic of Alphonsine is a titanic, efficient nation, notable for its ritual sacrifices, avant-garde cinema, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 14.142 billion Alphonsineans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 86.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Alphonsinean economy, worth a remarkable 3,292 trillion 9003s a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 232,786 9003s, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians have tenure, fixing attendance at women's matches is a matter of "when they go low, we go high... funding", corporations cut costs by taking away safety-features on their products, and family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alphonsine's national animal is the 9003, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Alphonsine is ranked 324,061^st in the world and 404^th in Home Sweet 9003 for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -13.07 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.