The Holy Empire of Alpha Ketol is a titanic, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 18.298 billion Alpha Ketolians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Spirituality, although Defense, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.8%.

The very strong Alpha Ketolian economy, worth a remarkable 1,032 trillion Nitrogenous Substanceseses a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 56,435 Nitrogenous Substanceseses, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 212,108 per year while the poor average 10,482, a ratio of 20.2 to 1.

Employers may fire workers without giving any reason, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, and military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alpha Ketol's national animal is the Indol, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Alpha Ketol is ranked 216,366^th in the world and 6^th in The Grand Iron Order for Safest, scoring 52.62 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.