The Matriarchy of Alice Cooper is a mammoth, cultured nation, renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, vat-grown people, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.515 billion Alice Cooperians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Detroit. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 69.1%.

The all-consuming Alice Cooperian economy, worth 614 trillion blades a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 94,220 blades, with the richest citizens earning 7.6 times as much as the poorest.

Every workday begins with group therapy, white strait-jackets are the new orange jumpsuits, the book "Zen and the Art of Dog Maintenance" is inexplicably a worldwide success, and citizens know not to ask what their country can do for them but what they can do as chained slaves for their country. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alice Cooper's national animal is the snake, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Alice Cooper is ranked 284,522^nd in the world and 2^nd in Detroit for Smartest Citizens, with 15.58 quips per hour.