The Acolytes Protection Agency of Alcolytes is a colossal, socially progressive nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 4.186 billion Alcolytesians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The tiny, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.0%.

The strong Alcolytesian economy, worth 215 trillion Credits a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 51,393 Credits, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 327,825 per year while the poor average 3,313, a ratio of 98.9 to 1.

Robotic spouses prove to be just as imperfect as flesh and blood ones, the cancellation of "The Real Vixens of Alcolytes City" has been described as a real blow for entertainment, students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas, and protesters against the government are hanged as a warning to others. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Alcolytes's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Alcolytes is ranked 152,584^th in the world and 9^th in APA for Largest Populations, with 4.19 billion capita.