The Colony of Alaskan Mountains is a massive, genial nation, ruled by The Hermit with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, strictly enforced bedtime, and frequent executions. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 1.795 billion Mountaineers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Up Top. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Climbing economy, worth 262 trillion rocks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Trout Farming, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 146,176 rocks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 513,792 per year while the poor average 30,140, a ratio of 17.0 to 1.

Major boxing matches are held in government buildings, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction, eight-year-olds can be seen lighting up in public areas, and even doll houses and dog kennels have to be able to withstand rigorous earthquake testing. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Alaskan Mountains's national animal is the moose, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Striving Higher.

Alaskan Mountains is ranked 318,168^th in the world and 23^rd in Alaskan Scenery for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 105.76 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.