The Colony of Abandonland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Dwight Schrute with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, rampant corporate plagiarism, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 1.165 billion Abandonlandians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Uranium City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Abandonlandian economy, worth 174 trillion Kilograms a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 149,825 Kilograms, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,123,691 per year while the poor average 5,764, a ratio of 194 to 1.

The law forbids arson, murder, and low-quality cheese, city sidewalks are crowded with overweight people, people are always able to look each other in the eye, and supervisors in Abandonland commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Abandonland's national animal is the Rattlesnake, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Abandonland is ranked 3,848^th in the world and 7^th in The Global Elite for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 136,491.1 Standard Monetary Units.