The Dastardly Queer of A 95 Page Thesis is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its soft-spoken computers, infamous sell-swords, and suspicion of poets. The quiet, industrious population of 3.613 billion 95 Page Thesisians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 43.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The 95 Page Thesisian economy, worth 211 trillion lire a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 58,460 lire, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The country is rumored to be a Brancalandian puppet state, strange looking men with big red noses are found hiding behind bushes and inside dustbins, Tom and Jerry cartoons have cat and mouse resolving their problems with reasoned discussion, and The Very Hungry Caterpillar has been banned for advocating gluttony. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. A 95 Page Thesis's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

A 95 Page Thesis is ranked 122,465^th in the world and 3^rd in Covenant Shores for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 618.7 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.