The Loving Couple of -Too-Many Options is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Greater Basilisk with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, frequent executions, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 9.796 billion -Too-Many Optionsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gravesfield High School. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.0%.

The frighteningly efficient -Too-Many Optionsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,033 trillion snails a year, is led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 105,553 snails, with the richest citizens earning 8.8 times as much as the poorest.

The government has hired out-of-work fashion designers to design purses for men, an underground group of geologists hides new discoveries to protect them from being destroyed in the name of safety, Greater Basilisk has a wardrobe full of fake designer suits, and Greater Basilisk can't hear a thing when the unwashed masses throw rocks at the new state limousine. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. -Too-Many Options's national animal is the owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cards.

-Too-Many Options is ranked 330,580^th in the world and 93^rd in Union of Allied States for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -19.44 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.