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«12. . .4,5514,5524,5534,5544,5554,5564,557. . .4,5964,597»

Brocklandia wrote:Is your chair head any saner? What about your chest of drawers head?

frizzes my hair on you

Now it is worse

North-West Commland wrote:something other that e
congrats!

what?

Definitely Toby wrote:Wheat

[Yeets 🍉's at quoted ]
[Bird chirps of laughter and amusement]

Brocklandia wrote:Sing it with me! "Let's do the time warp agaaain!"

Hums along.

Brocklandia wrote:He and his equally ferocious buddies have been loitering in the Jungle Room. That's the back dining room, usually reserved for special occasions, like when an entire troop of Cub Scouts comes in. Of course, just calling it a "dining room" doesn't indicate who will be doing the dining, does it? The tigers all look very well-fed, if you ask me.

Peers into the Jungle Room.

Oh right, is that where we put the unicorns too? Doesn't seem like a good mix. Or do we have an Enchanted Forest Room too?

Brocklandia wrote:We do indeed have a bengal spiced team, made by dipping a bengal tiger's tail in scalding-hot water. This tends to annoy the tiger, so I'll send it over to your table and let you deal with it.

~In a panic the pile of papers spill, shuffling away from where it had been seated as an attempted evasive maneuver from the tiger is enacted.~

On second thought, perhaps I am less partial to a drink, tea or otherwise, than I had previously assumed.

Thick-Billed Longspur wrote:[Yeets 🍉's at quoted ]
[Bird chirps of laughter and amusement]

Ah!
ducks and gets covered in watermelon

loses balance as adrenaline builds up

Off-piste Skier wrote:

But thank you. It is almost as good as the one from home!

From the register a glittering of eyes gaze upon the customer.

--. --- --- -.. . -. --- ..- --. .... - --- .--. .- -.-- ..-. --- .-. .. .-- --- -. -.. . .-.

Sarand wrote:*catches the drink with one hand*

Thanks

*drinks Vodin*

Watches for payment.

A Tarantula wrote:From the register a glittering of eyes gaze upon the customer.

--. --- --- -.. . -. --- ..- --. .... - --- .--. .- -.-- ..-. --- .-. .. .-- --- -. -.. . .-.
Watches for payment.

So now you work at the bar, huh.

wipes off watermelon juice

.. .- -- .-- .- - -.-. .... .. -. --. -.-- --- ..-

Brocklandia wrote:Sing it with me! "Let's do the time warp agaaain!"

Hums along.

A Tarantula wrote:

[Smiles approvingly ]

Definitely Toby wrote:So now you work at the bar, huh.

wipes off watermelon juice

.. .- -- .-- .- - -.-. .... .. -. --. -.-- --- ..-

Stares.

A Tarantula wrote:Stares.

stares back while climbing the walls

Definitely Toby wrote:stares back while climbing the walls

Stares more efficiently due to a lack of eyelids and tracks the creatures movements.

A Tarantula wrote:Stares more efficiently due to a lack of eyelids and tracks the creatures movements.

doesn't know whether to keep climbing or to stop

You win this staring contest....

For now...

You dumb tarantula

sits on an empty shelf, wondering why it was empty in the first place

Definitely Toby wrote:frizzes my hair on you

Now it is worse

Well, I'm hot and steamy, so I do make other people's hair frizz.

Zany Zanes wrote:Hums along.

Oh, admit it. You have several of the outfits in your closet right this minute.

A Student wrote:~In a panic the pile of papers spill, shuffling away from where it had been seated as an attempted evasive maneuver from the tiger is enacted.~
On second thought, perhaps I am less partial to a drink, tea or otherwise, than I had previously assumed.

What? A sudden interest in self-preservation? That sounds very grown-up of you ... and very boring. The tigers are pouting.

Neutrality Foundation wrote:Peers into the Jungle Room.
Oh right, is that where we put the unicorns too? Doesn't seem like a good mix. Or do we have an Enchanted Forest Room too?

We do indeed have an Enchanted Forest Room. It's also known as the main restroom. Of course, the enchanted trees are really overgrown mold, but that still qualifies as plant life, right?

Brocklandia wrote:Oh, admit it. You have several of the outfits in your closet right this minute.

Tips a particularly sparkly hat.

Maybe.

Brocklandia wrote:Well, I'm hot and steamy, so I do make other people's hair frizz.

So is pizza.

Pizza is nice. I want pizza. I gots no monies on me.

Oh well

Zany Zanes wrote:Tips a particularly sparkly hat.

Maybe.

I imagine it as purple or blue

Where do we put the clones when we're done with them?

Zombie Penguins wrote:The weekend poetry contest is over. Brocklandia will choose a winner.

*Ahem!* Attention, everyone. Is this microphone on? Testing, testing?

Listen up. Whether you like it or not, I'm about to announce the winners of the Poetry Contest. Now would be a good time to run screaming for shelter in the restroom if you don't want to hear a rehash of the sick filth that got submitted.

So, no one ever wants to win First Place, mostly because it comes with the curse of having to judge the next contest and everyone here too lazy and conflict-avoiding, right? So let's get it out of the way, like ripping off a bandage. Our First Place winner is ... Uh, where'd I put that envelope? Ah, here it is. First Place and the horror ... er, honor of judging goes to somebody named Definitely Toby, who submitted multiple entries, but especially this one that captures the unrelenting angst of a generation unmoored from social etiquette and lost in their primal ennui. Yay, Toby!

    Ow god I got hit with a frozen burrito and I'm in pain...
    I need a body guard dang..
    So weak I'm basically asking to be attacked.
    Nowhere is safe.

And now, Second Place. I'm feeling generous today, so I'm pleased to announce I'm not cursing anyone with Second. That's right--in a Bar first, no one won Second Place. You may all thank me later.

    (crickets chirping)

Moving right along to the much-coveted Third Place. Like I said, I'm feeling generous as well as judgmental, so I hearby declare a multi-way tie in which everyone else won Third Place! Yay, Zany Zanes, Nekojin, Brocklandia, The Peanut Feast, and everyone else!

    The Moon's Guest

    I deign to eat with the moon tonight,
    For her appetite knows no bounds.
    She'll eat and eat and eat and eat,
    'Til her body blooms and rounds.

    There's never much left for me these nights,
    I'm so hungry you cannot fathom.
    She ate it all, left none for me,
    The gapped, awing chasm.

    Suddenly I realize,
    I might just have the fix.
    A little piece, just here and there,
    I'll make a nice eclipse.

    Here's a poem:

    There are biscuits
    And Triscuits
    But what
    May I ask
    Happened to the singular 'scuit'?
    How did we forget it?
    I fall
    vacant
    In the evening
    I wake
    bitter
    In my bed.
    I try vainly
    To conceive how we fail in so many ways
    And never know it.
    How would one even call the singular scuit?
    Monoscuit?
    Uniscuit?
    And what would it be?
    Creating plurals with no base
    Leaves them entirely unconnected
    Concepts linked by nothing but the letters in their name
    One must first define the foundation
    Lest its variants become alien

    So what if I didn't submit a poem? Thanks to judge's prerogative, I still give myself Third and you can't stop me. Bwa-hahahaHAHA.

    Putin getting mad
    Have we waited too long?
    ICBMs

Thanks and congratulations to all our winners! Yaaay!

Definitely Toby wrote:Where do we put the clones when we're done with them?

Meat locker. On the left. Second shelf. Push the last set aside if you need more room.

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