You don't have to justify why you gave me Third Place, as long as you gave me Third Place. Motivations are the sort of thing you should take up with a therapist or a defense lawyer.
Now, doesn't my new Third Place trophy look good on my shelf?
We assumed you'd sold your soul eons ago. We're all looking at you because you're making vague mouth-like noises and you're not the Bar's jukebox. I mean, how do we unplug you?