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«12. . .851852853854855856857. . .874875»

Friends of Dorothy wrote:[i]pop in for a liver transplant at Tommy’s University Hospital

With a little bit of luck you might get a shot from transnurse Laura. She has no medical degree, it's just her way of playing doctor.

Sorry, can’t hold back any longer.

C, E, D, A, B

I claim the milk & honey.

That’s a large milk and honey for Rainbow, please Sal, filled to the brim with your best brandy.

Note: d) and a) come together at 21:00 as a cacophony of light and sound, though Parrot begins his set an hour before the fireworks start.

Friends of Dorothy wrote:Note: d) and a) come together at 21:00 as a cacophony of light and sound, though Parrot begins his set an hour before the fireworks start.

Hmm, i always thought A & E came together, followed by D, and finally B...

Also, as i mentioned before, Yannian fireworks are the quietest that exist, so the cacophony isn't as bad as one might think. Indeed, Yannian fireworks go together quite well with tinkling ivories.

Yannia wrote:Hmm, i always thought A & E came together, followed by D, and finally B...

Also, as i mentioned before, Yannian fireworks are the quietest that exist, so the cacophony isn't as bad as one might think. Indeed, Yannian fireworks go together quite well with tinkling ivories.

Rufus tinkles the ivories in the early afternoon - almuerzo as they say on palm tree holiday islands. If Céline unsettles the quiet of Yannian fireworks, we’d better involve the Noise Abatement Authority.

Economic Output: First: Yannia top 0.2%. Second: The Choir Boy top 0.3%. Third: Icarianna top 0.6% … Middle: Sharx top 10% … Last: Pencil Sharpeners bottom 0%

In PoorChoices, political scientists despair as the national mascot election eclipses all others in voter enthusiasm.

In Nudesia, news headlines suggest that Eric Shun has a sideline in guinea pig pimping.

In Friends of Dorothy, crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force.

Friends of Dorothy wrote:Rufus tinkles the ivories in the early afternoon - almuerzo as they say on palm tree holiday islands.

The right music for post-almuerzo drowsiness.

Friends of Dorothy wrote:Rufus tinkles the ivories in the early afternoon - almuerzo as they say on palm tree holiday islands.

I see. Fair enough.

Friends of Dorothy wrote:If Céline unsettles the quiet of Yannian fireworks, we’d better involve the Noise Abatement Authority.

Not a problem. I suppose the sound of shattering crystal does make a nice accompaniment to the quiet fireworks. ;)

Population: First: Yannia top 0.4% (38.2 billion). Second: Test Icicle top 0.6% (35.6 billion). Third: Nudist Dreamland top 2% (31.4 billion) … Middle: Machinery of Night top 12% (11.7 billion) … Last: Big epic nation bottom 21% (153 million)

In Pabloh, children have nightmares about the eerie red glow and constant whirring of newly-installed machines.

In The Naked Few, badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game.

In Iantopiia, replacement organs are grown in vats.

Don’t get up, stay in bed. It’s Zeds Day. zzzzzzzzzzz. Sometimes called Sunday, part 2, or Stay in Bed Day. Back to sleep !!!

I’ll see you later at Tommy’s once you’ve had a good lie in. x

Food Quality: First: Nelvana III top 0.02% (27th in world). Second: Yannia top 0.02% (29th in world). Third: The Nude Beach top 0.3% … Middle: Gayeers top 10% … Last: Grave Raven bottom 0% (85th from bottom in world)

In Pencil Sharpeners, hit and run driving is no longer a crime - it's the national sport.

In The kricathlyskonder, reporters who negatively comment on politicians' haircuts are cut from the news.

The entire entry for Nudist Dreamland in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the World reads 'mostly harmless'.

Yannia wrote:

Not a problem. I suppose the sound of shattering crystal does make a nice accompaniment to the quiet fireworks. ;)

Céline has shattered quite a few crystal chandeliers over the years.

The kricathlyskonder

I shouldn't have given all my citizens guns.

Citizens are forbidden from owning firearms in Friends of Dorothy.

International Artwork: First: Friends of Dorothy top 0.8%. Second: The kricathlyskonder top 1%. Third: Yannia top 2% … Middle: Discoveria II top 31% … Last: Sunny Glade bottom 40%

In PoorChoices, condos feature wall-mounted cages containing endangered animals.

In Barman, package deals offer tourists the chance to visit the frozen remains of the previous tour group.

In The Nude Beach, shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals.

Tuesday is Trivia Showdown Night at Tommy’s Bar

Here is your bonus question for a free milk and honey ..

What is the most popular superpower according to our recent poll?

a) saintliness

b) death ray eyes

c) time travel

Busty Sal will have to look this one up, so whisper your answer in her ear.

Good luck !

PS If you have won the last two milk and honeys you are barred from taking part. Thank you for your understanding.

If Death Ray Eyes had been an option in the poll it would have won.

Against expectation the answer to the bonus question this week is “C”.

Well.well,well...a Tuesday Trivia Question the answer to which is not to be found in the Book.
Must be confusing for dear Sal. Keeper of the Book of Answers is her super ability. This must be like kryptonite to her.

The Test
A Lady Laura story

...meanwhile at Château Mondragón...

It was late afternoon at the chateau and five individuals were opening bottles of champagne :
Willy the Teddy Bear, Igor the four-hundred year old hunchback butler; Lady Laura´s music tutor the Maestro ; Sir Tacitus Taciturn, her fencing instructor; and an unnamed old man.

"Gentlemen",
said Igor the four-hundred year old hunchback butler,
"We should pat ourselves on the back. We have a Queen !"

"We made a Queen"
the Maestro remarked.
"Wouldn´t you say, Sir Tacitus Taciturn ?"

"Hmmm. Yeah"
the fencing instructor replied.

"And you, my dear fellow, you did an outstanding job"
Willy the Teddy Bear said, talking to the old man.

And they went on, toasting and drinking.
Suddenly, Lady Laura opened the door. The cheering stopped, cups half raised in midair.

"Why did you stop ? What´s the occasion ?" she asked around, and then she saw the old man.
"YOU ! I know you ! What are you doing here at the Chateau ?
And what´s the meaning of all this ???"

A few hours earlier...
(to be continued)

A few hours earlier, Lady Laura and her entourage were visiting the Free Royal City of Fisch-über-Fleisch, a rich fishing community. She was at the head of the Royal Horse Guards, looking hot in jodhpurs. Long black and white ostrich feathers adorned her helmet.
Right at the city gates she saw an old man in rags, begging for food and spare change. She took pity on him and she signed halt.

"Willy," she said
"Bring that man here. The city is rich and that man is poor. Something isn´t right. I want to know what happened."

Willy did what he was told, and the poor old man told his story.

"My Queen," he said
"I committed a grave felony. I ate meat. As you know, the city motto is Meat Is Murder. The city authorities froze my assets and sentenced me to a lifetime of poverty for that heinous crime..."

Lady Laura was outraged.

"Is that so ? We shall see about that"
She turned to the troops on horse behind her, pointed at her helmet and said
"Follow these feathers ! To the Town Hall !"
And she trotted into town.

At the Town Hall, all the Magnates and Patricians and Burghers were expecting her. She sat on a throne, under a portrait of her father, Lord Luís-Henrique The Great, the missing-but-not-yet-oficially-pronounced-dead monarch. Willy the Teddy Bear was right behind her.

"Lady Laura, our most benevolent and radiant Queen, welcome to your Royal Free City of Fisch-über-Fleisch"
the Grand Burgher said.
"We are most pleased to have our Queen here."

"Thank you, my lords,"
Lady Laura replied,
"but I am not yet Queen. My father is not dead. I can feel it. So save your praise for later.
It´s my first visit here. I wish to meet the people, and allow me to start with the convict I saw outside the city gates, the one your judicial system sentenced to poverty and hunger..."

The City´s Great Men looked at each other, apparently failing to understand what Lady Laura was talking about. One was about to speak but she interrupted him even before he began.

"All that man did was try some different food, for Great Dragon´s sake. The Constitution of Dancing Dragons says that people have rights and liberties. And have you not heard that the punishment should fit the crime ? Well then, I´ll dispense justice while I´m here. I´m that man´s court of appeal now. You will reverse your ruling and that man will be granted all his property and goods back. And a full pardon."

The City´s grandees were astounded and speechless. But one spoke up.

"Your Highness, we are your trusted advisors, at your service.
The next issue we´d like to bring before you is...er...hmmm...Your coming of age. And marriage. The Great Dragon in The Sky blessed Lord Luís-Henrique the Great with a most gracious and precious daughter...perhaps the Princess-Regent would like to...think about it...You know, the facts of life...birds and the bees, that sort of thing..."

Lady Laura rose and addressed the assembly.

"Let me tell you a story. You know that fabled kingdom we read about in children´s books, Ingheland ? Well, they had a queen they called Goode Queen Bess, who said
«I shall rule and die a virgin. This country will have a mistress and no master»
Mark my words, my lords, so shall I. Marriage is out of the question. I will hear none of it."

The City´s Great Men were spellbound. And the visit to the Free Royal City of Fisch-über-Fleisch was a success.
Until later. When Lady Laura saw Willy giving the old man a coin purse. She demanded an explanation.

"You see, Laura"
Willy explained
"You needed, your people needed, a show of power and majesty. The Great Men of Fisch-über-Fleisch...they had no clue what you were talking about. Eating meat isn´t a crime there. We thought of a plan to provoke a response, some reaction from you.
That old man, he´s an actor. Please forgive him, and us. What we did, all we did, was for you and for the country.
And you fared well."

"Swell"
said Sir Tacitus Taciturn

And, turning to the others, Willy said
"Gentlemen, we have a Queen !"

There’s a lesson here to think on. Thank you, my dear, informative, entertaining and of artistic value, comme toujours.

Why are we watching Villareal v Juventus? This is not how I wanted my RL Tuesday evening to be. Anyone going to do anything about dinner, I wonder? That’s not my province, by the way. I have set the table and am making a point of not watching the football match. Hey ho.

peeks in, sees the latest issue of Attitude on the counter, grabs it and shuts the door.

 « Attitude is the UK's best-selling gay magazine. »

Sounds a better use of your Tuesday evening than mine, Transexy, my dear.

The match finished 1-1, by the way.

Niceness: First: Nelvana III top 0.03% (50th in world). Second: Yannia top 0.05%. Third: Icarianna top 0.3% … Middle: District Line 39 top 16% … Last: Grave Raven bottom 0%

In Transexy, RiffRaff-wagons to Rocky are often canceled due to excessive levels of manure on the roads.

In Wailing Grannies, formerly fertile fields are being leached dry of nutrients by intensive farming.

In Nudesia, real chickens replace rooster weather vanes on inner-city rooftop gardens.

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