"One of these things is not like the other One of these things just doesn't belong ..."
While I'm particularly fond of trickster figures like pre-Zombie Jesus and Loki, I'm not sure they'd have much to say to your parents, other than: "Buzzkill much, my dudes?" You really need to get your parents to relax more. Have you considered spiking their bottled water with Thorazine?
Have you considered combining catapults, cream pies, and politicians into a long-distance game show? You can award extra points for extreme velocity. And for the bonus round?--The cream pies contain grenades. I'd binge-watch that so hard.