The Bar on the corner of every regionBoard

Brocklandia wrote:

I love delivering drinks to our customers. Like the postal carriers, neither bad weather nor bad news shall prevent me from making my appointed deliveries. Neither badgers, nor breath mints, nor badminton ...

But if the Bar is ever invaded by badgers armed with breath mints and badminton racquets, y'all are on your own.

That’s fine we taught our beavers to carry firearms

On a random phone

"Why did y'all send dem ants after me??"

*Disconnects from the stomach pump, then stumbles to the nearby podium*

Ugh, I guess I’ve delayed performing my judging duties for long enough. Time to pass this horrid job to someone else.

First, I would like to recognize those who went above and beyond and have donated to the bucket.

Brocklandia wrote:

I can give you ... uh ... this tiny bundle of navel lint. Put it in water and it can be naval lint too. Is that not nifty?

000 2 wrote:

I donated a bucket

Zombie Dog wrote:

*The dog then stuffs the remains of Rudolph into Alta Sil's bucket*

Sticking to my original promise, the first donation, made by 000 2, will be given to The Peanut Feast as a reward for their consistently wonderful poetry. I hope you enjoy your bucket! It’s a great container for all those peanuts.

Now, onto the prizes!

THIRD PLACE, given to Brocklandia for their poem about cuisine, which fits under the theme of “Art”. Congratulations!

Brocklandia wrote:

Trying to decipher
ancient instructions for
making Egyptian potato salad.
Day 3.
Progress is slow.

SECOND PLACE, for Brocklandia’s second poem on cuisine! Also a reminder that anything can and will be subject to the poetry contest.

Brocklandia wrote:

1 package of lime gelatin.
1 liter of tap water (biohazard).
17 rusty nails.
32 angry cats (shaved).
2 kilotonnes of uranium.
15 kilograms of arsenic.
1 jigger of gin.

FIRST PLACE, given to Zombie Dog for their insightful thoughts about life and philosophy encapsulated in this haiku. They also presented the best donation, maybe a few of you could learn how to stuff decayed bodies into buckets to win first place in the future.

Zombie Dog wrote:

Arf arf woof bark bark
Woof bark growl bark woof arf arf
Bark growl woof arf woof!

BONUS: Consistent with the theme of “Ants”, 10000 Ants will be given this sugar cube for their enthralling storytelling on the rise of the Bar’s sentient ant population.

That’s it!

I’m going to now gonna become a featured region hopper baye

Alta Sil wrote:

THIRD PLACE, given to Brocklandia for their poem about cuisine, which fits under the theme of “Art”. Congratulations!
SECOND PLACE, for Brocklandia’s second poem on cuisine! Also a reminder that anything can and will be subject to the poetry contest.
FIRST PLACE, given to Zombie Dog for their insightful thoughts about life and philosophy encapsulated in this haiku. They also presented the best donation, maybe a few of you could learn how to stuff decayed bodies into buckets to win first place in the future.

Yay! Thank you, most excellent judge of discernment and good taste in drink recipes! Congrats, Zombie Dog!

Brocklandia wrote:

Well, here's a complimentary beer and bowl of pretzels for you to enjoy while you're here. But there's nothing to see--nothing going on--no noise at all. Nope. Nothing noisy happening at all.

Oh, I think I was hearing things. Sorry.

eats the pretzels
knocks down the glass of beer

oops...

Emus Republic Of Australia wrote:

I might start making it so that my laws NationStates says I have does not equal 100% truth

Since when is anything ever 100% the truth.

Wantonea wrote:

A tired looking person enters the bar.
"That's the last time I use Google maps..."

Told you to make a right turn at Albuquerque again, did it? Google Maps hates you. Don't feel too special, though--Google Maps hates everyone.

Wantonea wrote:

"Yep."

Begins looking at the menu

"Can I get Nectar?"

Brocklandia wrote:

Sure! Here's a li'l recipe made from the nectars of morning glories, magnolias, tulips, and that donkey that keeps breaking into the vegetable garden and eating all the corn stalks.

The donkey's name is Maybelline, if that matters.

"Thank y-"

The person disintegrates from existence

boy its been a day HEY BARTENDER I need me a beer. Im feeling something heavier today, extra plutonium please.
*drops a small pouch of what appears to be coins on the counter. They are almonds*

Sicario Mercenary Corps wrote:

boy its been a day HEY BARTENDER I need me a beer. Im feeling something heavier today, extra plutonium please.
*drops a small pouch of what appears to be coins on the counter. They are almonds*

Here you go ... *sweeps the coin-almonds into the cash drawer* ... This peppy little microbrew is made with tritium, hassium, and mutated hops, in addition to the top notes of plutonium and cadmium. Sure, it'll give you cancer, but it's also radioactive enough to cure you, give you two more kinds of cancer, and then cure them too. Soon you'll have exhausted every known form of cancer, and you'll be functionally immortal. As a bonus, you'll be your own nightlight for the next three thousand years, too.

YouTube Inc wrote:

I hath returned, give me a cananananaandian whiskey good sirs!

If you want to wait for one of those "good" sirs, this might take a while. But if you're desperate for your drink and can't tell the difference between a "cananananaandian" whiskey and whatever sort-of amber colored stuff is in this bottle I randomly pulled off the shelves, then here you go.

Drink up. Come on, come up. Drink up. I wanna see ho it mutates your DNA this time.