Uhm, nothing. Certainly not a hungry Spaghetti Monster sneaking up behind you, or the souls of the damned practicing in the supply closet for their next Eurovision appearance. Nope, not those things at all. By the way, are you a tenor?
I can't drink
I see you've been watching me? Naughty Naughty Brock!
Actually, I was looking for a job - Perhaps you could do with a couple extra hands to serve drinks?
Yes? And what of it? 'Tis a silly place, and no one goes there.
Technically I was watching the "Regional Happenings" scroller. As for whether I'm naughty and how naughty I might be, well, my lawyer insists of having you sign this stack of nondisclosure forms first.
We usually insist on a few weeks to make sure newcomers fit in before hiring 'em officially. In the meantime, just jump in and serve drinks where you see the opportunity. Consider it an unpaid internship that might turn into an unpaid job.
Well, (in the meantime) shall we both have a coffee?
I never touch the stuff, mostly because I prefer to keep my internal organs from leaking out through the hole coffee would burn in my abdomen. But here's a cup for you, with cream, sugar, and a half-off coupon for the stomach pumps on the side.
you both stop yelling
Steps out of a glowing pentagram.
SPEAKING OF SHADOWS; IT'S FUNNY HOW NOBODY EVER TRIES TO STEAL MY JOB...
ONE KLATCHIAN COFFEE, BARKEEP!
The shadowy barkeep gives a sharp grin in response.
Coming right up!
They start up the coffee pot and ready a cup while they wait.
How's business been?
I call dibs on the matches and lighter. If anyone's gonna burn this place to the ground today, it'll be me ... and the forty-seven customers ahead of me on the flame-thrower signup list. But they won't get far without matches or lighters, will they? Bwa-hahahaHAHA!
Like it? I'm taking night classes in "Evil Villain Laughs" at the local trade school.
O, THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER STREAM BEING ADDED TO THE RIVER STYX. YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY THERE'S ONE BORN EVERY MINUTE? WELL I'M PRETTY SURE MORE HAVE BEEN HEADING TO MEET ME RECENTLY...
Pouring the coffee the barkeep nods along.
Sounds like you've been busy then.
Sets the glass before the patron with a bowl of sugar cubes and some creamer.
Well, hopefully you still find time to rest occasionally, you know how important self-care is. Enjoy your coffee!