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«12. . .4,4154,4164,4174,4184,4194,4204,421. . .5,0515,052»

An actual quotation from this morning's meeting with my friends ... er, cabinet ministers!

Friend: I don't want the kinds of problems that can only be cured with therapy. I want the kinds of problems that can only be cured with lots and lots of sex.

Me: Yeah, but the real issue is you're not willing to pay therapist-level rates to get it.

Ambrossa wrote:Better behave or I'll give you…
FIRST PLACE

Your threats are empty. You know that haiku-like fiasco I submitted was nowhere good enough for First Place.

Sideways silas

Ambrossa wrote:Beautiful!

*grins widely and bows*

Ambrossa

Brocklandia wrote:No, I'm pretty sure I've never seen a Zombie beaver around here. Some types of zombies are just too scary to contemplate.

Brock comes from the word brocc. Oh no! I put beaver instead of badger! I guess Brocklandia should now be called Badgerlandia!

Brocklandia and Ambrossa

Zombie ducks wrote:Brock comes from the word brocc. Oh no! I put beaver instead of badger! I guess Brocklandia should now be called Badgerlandia!

Badgerlandia is two countries over that-a-way. Wear protective clothing before you visit there. Those badgers are cranky bastids, and they'll go right for your ankles with their sharp, sharp teeth. Obvious Badgerlandia is popular only with a specialized type of tourist.

Fun fact: Neither my high school's nor my college's mascots were badgers. Which is fine because even most badger mascots are people in badger costumes instead of actual cheerleading badgers. Okay, so that's less "fun" but it's still a "fact." Gimma a B!

Zombie Penguins, Zany Zanes, YouTube Inc, Songs you dont understand, and 2 othersAmbrossa, and Thick-Billed Longspur

Post self-deleted by Songs you dont understand.

Songs you dont understand

I deleted my old post because it might be a reupload, so I will release this Algerian Music instead

Zohra - Badala Zamana
https://youtu.be/wDQHl-2cQ40

Ambrossa

Brocklandia wrote:Badgerlandia is two countries over that-a-way. Wear protective clothing before you visit there. Those badgers are cranky bastids, and they'll go right for your ankles with their sharp, sharp teeth. Obvious Badgerlandia is popular only with a specialized type of tourist.

Fun fact: Neither my high school's nor my college's mascots were badgers. Which is fine because even most badger mascots are people in badger costumes instead of actual cheerleading badgers. Okay, so that's less "fun" but it's still a "fact." Gimma a B!

[Eats some birb seeds off a counter top] [notices a 🐝 buzzing around]

Brocklandia and Ambrossa

Thick-Billed Longspur wrote:[notices a 🐝 buzzing around]

Apparently birds have a well-developed sense of appreciation for puns ... or bees. Or--*shudder!*--both. Some developments are just too cruel to contemplate.

Ambrossa and Thick-Billed Longspur

Swats at the buzzing insect...

*further buzzing noises*

Goes to look for that Flammenwerfer 5000 again.

Ambrossa and Thick-Billed Longspur

Balmuria wrote: [bird scratches it to unreadible]

[Gives a [totally not intoxicating] "Water" in a glass]

Consuela de la Morrela wrote:Goes to look for that Flammenwerfer 5000 again.

Look in the special secret supply room next to TheOrc's office. Aisle 14, shelf 3, next to the dirty nukes ... Which you should absolutely clean while you're back there.

Balmuria wrote:Hi, I'm about to create a role-play nation [...] if someone can help, pls telegram me and thanks :)

Always go for the last option on each list. That way you're likely to create an authoritarian regime with you as absolute lord--because what could be more fun than being master of the realm, beholden to none. Of course, if the thought of orphans wailing and begging in the snow for coins keeps you awake at night, then outlaw snow and have those orphans shipped off to a work camp in the outer provinces. You'll sleep like a log after that.

Ambrossa

Thick-Billed Longspur wrote:[Gives a [totally not intoxicating] "Water" in a glass]

But if you're pecking at a wall o' text, doesn't that make you a woodpecker instead of a longspur?

Ambrossa wrote:I'm a 92 year old man who won gold on the winter Olympics for ice wheelchair racing and currently is married to four lovely ladies who are totally my age

SEE YOU REAL SOON.

Zombie Penguins, Zany Zanes, and Ambrossa

The Grimm Reaper wrote:SEE YOU REAL SOON.

I enjoy seeing our customers make a love-match. Remember, we have rooms available upstairs for rent by the hour. Or if you can't last that long, would you prefer our five-minute rate?

The weekend poetry contest has ended. Ambrossa will pick the winner.

Zombie Penguins wrote:The weekend poetry contest has ended. Ambrossa will pick the winner.

Oh, Consuela de la Morrela, hurry up with that flamethrower. If I don't win Third Place, I might have a new use for it.

Brocklandia wrote:Oh, Consuela de la Morrela, hurry up with that flamethrower. If I don't win Third Place, I might have a new use for it.

and they called flamethrowers boring

Zombie Penguins wrote:The weekend poetry contest has ended. Ambrossa will pick the winner.

Ok let me get my computer. I'll announce the winner in a few hours when I can easily go and find the entries

Brocklandia wrote:Oh, Consuela de la Morrela, hurry up with that flamethrower. If I don't win Third Place, I might have a new use for it.

Yikes

I have a flame tank

Brocklandia and Ambrossa

YouTube Inc wrote:and they called flamethrowers boring

Flamethrowers are never boring. That's why, by a well-established precedent that I'm in the process of making up right now, they're one of three types of weapons allowed in duels here at the Bar. The other two?--Crossbows and karaoke high notes from German opera. Yep, those are the official weapons: crossbows, karaoke German opera, and flamethrowers. So next time a major disagreement breaks out here on the RMB ...

This is a minor revision to a real long-established precedent, in which flamethrowers are one of the weapons allowed in Bar fights. I'm just adding the other two--because there's a global flamethrower fuel crisis going on, you know. Sometimes everyone's first choice just isn't available.

Plus, you can toast marshmallows over a flamethrower. Everybody loves fresh s'mores.

NewOrderOfGermany wrote:I have a flame tank

Well, give it back. Stealing it from the Bar's weapons cache ... er, storeroom ... doesn't make it yours. And while we're on the topic, let's talk about all those suspiciously familiar listings you've posted on Blackmarket-dot-com.

Ambrossa wrote:Yikes

Well, then, that gives you a great incentive to make the right judgment ... unless you're really good with a crossbow or at singing German opera.

I built my flame tank

NewOrderOfGermany wrote:I built my flame tank

And we appreciate your creative use of--are those lamb chop bones?--your creative use of found and repurposed materials. Very "green" of you. But those fuel tanks and anything else with the Bar's logo stamped on them really should be returned.

Zany Zanes, Pricane, and Ambrossa

At third place we have...

Brocklandia wrote:Not technically a haiku in the classic sense, but--*ahem!*--presenting my haiku-like entry for the contest.
_____

I like the time
before dawn, because no one is
around to remind

me who I am,
so it's easier to remember
who I want to be.

At second place we have...

Zany Zanes wrote:A page of paper,
Drifting across the counter,
Lands in poetry.

Mornings sleepy chill,
A dragon breathes clouds of steam,
Flames wash it away.

And First Place goes to....

Sideways silas wrote:Here's one for you:

Beans on the toaster
Should I unplug it or not?
Afraid to get zapped

A few Honorary Mentions:

Songs you dont understand wrote:Eh, anyway. My haiku.

Oh, I love A-Pop
The music I really like
Your ears might like it.

The Peanut Feast wrote:Clouds moving along
Sunshine glints through a treetop
Wind against my face

Brocklandia, Zombie Penguins, Zany Zanes, Ratfink, and 5 othersSideways silas, Songs you dont understand, Consuela de la Morrela, The road crew, and Thick-Billed Longspur

«12. . .4,4154,4164,4174,4184,4194,4204,421. . .5,0515,052»

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